Andrew's parents set out on a RV beach tour late last week. They started out in Cambria and ended up in Santa Cruz so Andrew and Blake could join them. Blake became a big boy on this trip. He thought it was really fun to go potty on the RV potty and slept in a big boy bed across from his daddy. I stayed at home with Reade and enjoyed showering him with 100% of my attention. We drove down on Saturday for Reade's first trip to the beach and to celebrate him being off of house arrest.
Ellen and Reade napped while Andrew and I took a walk to the snack shack:
Blake and a beach friend (from Sacramento) digging for crabs:
Helping Grandma prepare steaks for dinner:
After dinner sunset shot:
When else do you get hot cocoa in your sippy before bed? Blake's great nana and grandpa gave him his Curious George Goes To The Beach book:
Campfires are great. Blake got scared when people were making smores and catching marshmallows on fire:
They camped at Seacliff State Park in Aptos where there is a sunken ship at the end of the pier. At one time, it used to be a nightclub:
Ellen took Blake down to the beach right when they arrived. After exploring the RV, he picked up a chair and did this:
Happy Memorial Day: Although no sculptured marble should rise to their memory, nor engraved stone bear record of their deeds, yet will their remembrance be as lasting as the land they honored. ~Daniel Webster
Three of my close friends are due to have their babies any day now. Megana is due at the end of June so she gets a few more weeks of preparation. My friend Carolyn (from NY and the one who invited me to Cape Cod) is past her due date so I am anxiously awaiting sweet news.
Click here to see more photos of Carolyn with babes on her farm.
Danika is also past her due date and might be induced next week, but we are all hoping for baby to decide to come out on her own. Either way, we hope mama and baby journey together for a great birth.
We are off to the beach today. Out of confinement, yahoooooo!
Who knew about these fantastic little hats? They are called fascinators and are usually worn to horse races. Andrew's sister had me try one of hers on before she left for Australia, but I thought it was a weird, little Robin Hood hat. Now I know how stylish she really is.
Here are people at the Melbourne Cup (fascinator on the right):
I might just wear this jellyfish looking one to my next fancy event: Found here
Andrew's sister Jessica wearing my favorite fascinator in Australia:
She just got this new one:
Too bad Reade isn't a girl or we would have a fascinator first birthday party.
Reade recieved a package today. We opened it up to find a beautiful quilt from Aunt Shirley. It is sports themed and will fit in nicely with all the physical activity going on around here. The blocks are fantastic and both Reade and Blake love to explore the different fabrics.
The series finale has left me in a funk. I dedicated years of my life to this show and this is how they repay me? A rushed ending that didn't answer my questions? Charles Whitmore simply gets shot at the end? This is almost as bad as when I dedicated my time to the CW show "Farmer Wants A Wife" online and they never aired the finale. Jerks! Anyways, I will get over this LOST tragedy sometime soon, but man was that a slap in the face from the writers. Some ending thoughts:
Goodbye Sawyer. I was madly in love with you until the last two seasons. You couldn't stop making that weird face. Maybe you were trying to soften the blow because you knew you would be leaving. I almost named my second son after you: Sawyer
Locke, I always believed in you. I was sad to see them turn you into a villian at the end. I would have liked to see you become king of the island. I too almost named my second son after you: John Locke
Thank goodness I am done with you Kate (aka Freckles). I really couldn't stand watching your pouty face over and over. Enjoy whatever TV show you will be on next. I am betting you will play a lawyer: Kate
I did kind of like the religious coexist message at the end. You were the only show I could get my husband to watch with me. I guess the new season of the Bachelorette will have to keep me entertained for now.
It is 3:56pm and I finally found the rainy day activity to make my child happy. I cleaned the sink and then let Blake use it as an exploration station.
Let me explain how my morning went. I put Reade down in the guest bedroom (behind a baby gate) to sleep in his Moses basket so I could load the dishwasher. I heard Blake standing at the doorway saying, "baby Reade" over and over. This is typical behavior for Blake, but once I heard silence I figured something was up. I shut off the water and walked over to see he had used his child chair to climb over the baby gate and was standing over Reade with my exercise weight in his hand. I screamed "no" and lept over the gate like a cheetah. Reade already had a weight next to his head and Blake set the other one on the other side of his head. At that moment, I felt like I was the worst mom in the world. That happened so fast and I felt negligent, but isn't a mom supposed to do dishes too? People think I am kidding when I say I am trying to keep everyone alive in my house.
Then... While I was dragging my child into the family room (reading him his Miranda rights) I looked up to see all of the ashes from the fireplace all over the carpet in the family room. The dog bed was tipped over and covered in ashes too. All of my cells in my body just shut down and I couldn't see how I was going to make it through this series of unfortunate events. I told Blake to sit on the bottom step of the stairs and not to move until I had cleaned it up. The tone was not pretty and let's just say his little bottom rushed right over and sat perfectly still for about ten minutes straight. Thank goodness ashes vacuum up nicely.
I took a nap when the boys were both sleeping so I wouldn't kill anyone and feel much better. I let my child stand on the back step and try to catch rain with the dog bowl. Then, I wised up and filled the sink so he could be indoors and not get pneumonia.
P.S. I am still in my pajamas. Sleep deprivation is insane. I just keep repeating, "Keep calm and carry on."
I warned Andrew this might happen. I am in hyper drive regarding Reade and his health. Yesterday, he slept all day and didn't feed well in the evening. Then he started crying inconsolably for an hour starting at 8pm. I called the advice nurse and because of his distressed cry and the decreased appetite she said I should take him to the emergency room. So from 10pm until midnight Reade found himself back under surveillance. The ER doctor said Reade was just fine after he took chest x-rays and checked him over. I was very happy everything was alright and I was just a paranoid parent. I promise to leave Reade alone now and let him become the strong kid I know he is. I will also go easy on my husband since peace of mind now comes with hefty insurance bills (well worth it I know). So all is calm on the western front and Reade is a happy clam.
When I stop worrying about one child, the next child creates whole new scenarios. Blake is exploring every inch of the world and his body right now. He sticks everything (and I mean everything) in places it maybe shouldn't go. This one is tame enough to blog about:
I was just taking a photo of Reade with my cell phone and noticed I had these two pictures in my gallery. These were taken at a soccer field around the corner from our house. I was a bit stressed out so I put Blake in the stroller and walked a mile around the track. Some kids came out to play soccer so Blake watched them in awe. I can't believe how tiny Blake looks in this picture because he looks like a giant compared to Reade.
My pregnant belly:
Freedom:
This was also where a woman asked me if I was "really going to let him play with those sticks like that?" Call me a horrible mother, but isn't a redwood grove the exact place you are supposed to run like a wild thing swinging sticks if you are a two year old?
I love this blog: http://www.mommycoddle.com/ and this video touched my heart. My days revolve around a little, helpless baby bird asking his mom for milk.
These past two mornings have been kind of hurried since we have been driving between two auto shops getting minor things fixed on the van. Wrangling the four of us to get out the door takes ten times longer than it should (is this foreshadowing school mornings?). Anyways, this morning I plopped Reade in Andrew's arms and ran upstairs for a quick shower. I tried to decide what to cut out of my morning routine to save some time so we could get on the road. While showering, this equation popped into my head:
1st child: If (A), (B) comes later, and (C) tomorrow or next week. 2nd child: If (A), not (B), and definitely not (C).
This might change, but for right now that is how decisions seem to be made.
Now, for a shout out to cloth diapers: I don't think I can stress how much I love cloth diapers. They have helped to keep Reade's diaper rash at bay with these antibiotics.
I read online (maybe not completely true?) that the diaper companies lobby with the American Pediatrics Society to get pediatricians to support potty training children later in life so they will stay in diapers longer. The literature now states that kids are mentally and physically ready for potty training at four years of age. What, that is crazy! I am not going to site my source here because I have no idea what obscure online article I was reading, but in 1960, the majority of children were potty trained by 18 months. In the NICU, a nurse was telling me a story about potty training her daughter. When asked how she trained her daughter she said, "We used cloth diapers back then." I then fessed up that I too use cloth diapers. She said that once her daughter was soiling them too often she started having her use the potty. This is where I went wrong! I got suckered into buying disposables once Blake was soiling them too fast. Blake gets a free pass, but let's just say I won't be making that same mistake with Reade. I am sure he will potty train faster just from watching Blake. Oh well, lesson learned. Those NICU nurses sure do know how to take care of business when it comes to kids.
The doctor's office just called and said that both our pertussis tests came back negative. No whooping cough around here.
Here is the first picture in what I hope to become Reade's monthly picture series.
At 1 Month I: * squawk like a pterodactyl * nurse all the time * sleep for 2 hours max at a time * spent five days in the NICU * have reddish hair * have a perfect belly button * can hold my head up for a few seconds * make my mom think I am a sweet person * have a perfect, round head * so far look as if I am going to get daddy's fingers and toes
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
Why did I think I had enough energy to rearrange Blake and Reade's room this afternoon? I have been itching to switch things around to get ready for Blake's big boy bed. Somehow all the books seemed to multiply and it took me forever to get them back on the bookshelf. Reade didn't want to be put down so I was constantly moving him from the crib to the baby carrier and then back into my arms when he hated that.
My mother went back to Sacramento this morning to get back to her own life. She was such a big help throughout this whole ordeal. I could not have done any of this without her. I was happy she got to spend some time with Reade in his home environment and she even gave him two of his nebulizer treatments. I love, love, love you mom!
As far as medical updates go, my lab results are the only ones that have come in. My pertussis test came back negative. Strep pneumonia and another bacteria came back positive for me meaning I have the germs that usually cause ear infections and pneumonia. I can fight them off so they are no big deal. Reade is on anitibiotics for another five days and we can ween the nebulizer treatments down once his cough is completely gone. His lungs sound clear to the doctors so he is almost completely over this cold.
The pediatrician told me to keep him away from kids/germs for the next two weeks and then after that practice good hand washing to avoid germs. She poo-poo'd the other doctor's three month statement saying there is no perfect window of keeping babies healthy. She also reminded me that women with six children are not able to bubble wrap their babies, as well as moms who have children in school and a baby at home. So I have taken some of the blame off myself and look forward to moving past this incident.
I still don't want to be very far away from my boys and am in protective mode, but life will get back to normal soon. Thanks again for everyone's support. It really helped me know the world outside of the NICU is a safe, warm place.
Reade came home today. Blake loved seeing Reade for the first few minutes and then got a little crazy. I tried my hardest to have him help with diaper changes and medication administration, but truth be told, the child is two. I am the happiest clam in the world to have my family under one roof. Reade will be on antibiotics for another week and we have to do three nebulizer treatments a day. He has the worst diaper rash because of the antibiotics so he is on medicated diaper rash cream. The poor kid writhes in pain every diaper change.
I can't thank the staff at El Camino Hospital enough. They were absolutely wonderful and took exceptional care of Reade. Everyone fawned over his red hair, but my mom pointed out that the staff is used to one to four pound babies so seeing a chubby baby is probably a treat. Tomorrow, we have an appointment with the pediatrician to check in so I will post a story regarding his stats (I grabbed Reade so fast and forgot to ask questions as I was racing out to my car). I am not sure if I will sleep tonight because all I want to do is hold and stare at my precious angel.
Last night, Andrew and I had a great date night at the hospital. You can see how tired Andrew's eyes look at midnight, but that is the life of a new parent! I have come to cherish my late night feedings because I know I have to leave Reade to get some sleep.
Happy 1 Month Birthday Reade!!!
Our insurance company started making a stink saying that Reade should have never been in the NICU because he is too old. The doctor called them back to "dance the dance" so they wouldn't have to move him downstairs to children's hospital today. They finally gave the okay so it looks like we will finish out our care in the NICU. Speaking of care, the doctor feels we will get to go home on Sunday. Yippeeee. She feels that because, A)he is becoming more stabilized, B)he will be old enough to take antibiotics orally, C)the IV is likely to come out soon and she doesn't want to put him through more stress, and D)she will be fighting the insurance company to keep him in a bed that the end of the hospital stay is close.
The neonatalist came by yesterday and told me that Reade will now be prone to bronchial issues so we should invest in buying a nebulizer. We pick one up to rent today at the pediatrician's office, but she recommended having one on hand so that we can be on top of colds/coughs so he doesn't end up in the ER again. I guess Reade is at a higher risk because he now has pneumonia under his belt and I was asthmatic as a kid. She also gave me instructions to not let Reade be near other children until he is at least three months old. I asked about taking Blake to places like drop-in daycare and she replied, "not if you have to." So it looks like we will be in lock down for a while (which I kick myself for not doing in the first place) until we get to our magic safety date. I know people say he could have gotten germs anywhere, but since we live with neighbors who are from: South America, South Korea, and Russia, I have heard it over and over about how new babies are kept inside and away from people for at least a month. I now have first hand experience of what can happen with a sick baby so I warned Andrew that I am going to be a guilt laden, overprotective mom from now on. I am sure I will calm down once the dust settles.
I think that is all regarding the updates. Reade weighs 9lbs, 1oz. right now (I guess he lost some weight). The respiratory therapist said he sounded good when he came by for last night's treatment. That made me happy and I am really looking forward to having all of my family at home. Time to jump in the shower to start another day of back and forth. Well worth it though.
This morning the pediatrician gave me great news that makes me see a light at the end of this tunnel. She talked with the neonatologist and they agreed that once Reade's respiration stabilizes he is old enough to continue his antibiotics at home. Instead of him getting them through an IV he would take them orally. I was so happy to hear this and even though plans can change in the blink of an eye I am still going to hope for this scenario.
Reade's cough is more bark-like today, but his color is great. He is so much more alert and responsive. His new cooing noises melt my heart and it is so fun that he will be a one month old on Saturday. They did a few more swab tests today to rule out a few more things on their checklist. His IV worked its way out of his arm so they changed it to his right arm. Poor guy, but I guess that is very common with IVs. Yuck! I hate those things. They still say he has a lot of gunk coming out when they suction his tiny nose and still hear a lot of crackling in his lungs. All we can do is be patient while Reade's body fights off this icky cold/pneumonia.
Here is a video of Grammie hanging out with Reade:
It has been over 24 hours since Reade was admitted to the hospital, but to me it feels like he has been there for days. These pictures are from yesterday so scroll down to the video at the bottom for current updates.
Reade when I first saw him yesterday:
Holding my little one:
His bed. Blake was with us when Reade was admitted and loved the giraffes on his bed:
Before I left last night:
Ok, now for the updates. When we were in the pediatrician's office they knew for sure that Reade had a raging ear infection in his right ear and that his oxygen levels were low so his breathing was compromised. Tests were done and they said he had pneumonia in his lower lungs. The neonatal doctor told me he thinks Reade has pneumonia throughout most of his lungs. A battery of tests were done to narrow down the infections, if there were any, so they could target them with specific antibiotics. His meningitis test came back negative, as well as a slew of viruses. This means that he got the pneumonia from the cold he has. They ran swab tests today to rule out pertussis (whooping cough). They sent me into the pediatrician's office to get swabbed myself since I am still getting over the cold myself. Those tests won't be back until this weekend, but if he does have pertussis they will just start him on erythromycin which can be given at home orally. Forgive me because it is late, but some level of something came back high today (average being a 1-2 and Reade was a 14) so that is why they are checking for whooping cough. Anyways, it looks like he will be on these two antibiotics (via IV) for 5-7 days more until his levels get better.
He has been such a champ and I have finally calmed down a bit. All I could do was sit in the rocking chair holding him and cry my eyes out. I tried to keep it together, but the guilt of leaving him alone in the hospital tears me up inside. I feel like I am abandoning my baby, but I know he is in good hands and I am trying to get some sleep so I can get through this with some sanity. Last night I stayed at the hospital from 9pm until 11:30pm. I pumped three times during the night to keep my milk supply up and allow the hospital to feed Reade while I am away. Today, I spent 8am-9:30am with him, saw him while Blake napped (my mom arrived), and then headed back with my mom from 6pm until 9pm this evening. I am completely wiped out so I decided to come home, eat, pump, and go to sleep. Reade looked so much better today and was super happy when Andrew came by to see him during his lunch break. My mother got to hold him during his respiratory treatment and when the doctor evaluated him.
Tomorrow, I will probably do the same thing and see Reade as frequently as possible. Oh, and he was taken off oxygen last night so that is a good thing. His IV, blood pressure monitor, and oxygen level lead were hard to navigate around, but I am getting used to nursing him and moving him around without too much trouble. It is such a pain to do all this while wearing a bulky gown and gloves. I was supposed to keep the gloves on, but I wanted to touch my baby so when the Nazi Nurse switched shifts I threw them away.
Reade is doing great and I am not worried about his condition. He will get better so soon and we will all get to hang out in the same room again. Blake asks for Reade constantly and played with his three stuffed toys today. I was showing my neighbor his pictures and Blake took the camera and kissed it. He is very sweet about the whole thing and comes up to me to wipe off my tears. I try my hardest to calm down around him, but my fear/feelings are hard to hold back sometimes.
Thank you for all of your support and I would love to talk to each one of you, but I have been super busy going back and forth. When I get into a calmer routine I promise I will start talking to people again, but right now I am a bit drained. Here is a little video of Reade hanging out. Everyone loves his red hair and loves his name so I am completely okay with my choice now. I hope he sleeps well and rests for tomorrow. Until the sun comes out again, adieu.
Reade has been battling a cold for the past few days now and last night he stopped nursing. This morning he was lethargic so I called the advice nurse and they had me drive right over to see his pediatrician. His oxygen level was low and he had a raging ear infection so they told me to go straight to the hospital. Poor Reade has pneumonia and his levels were so high (I can't remember of what) so they thought it could have escalated into meningitis. He had to have a spinal tap done today to rule out meningitis and I am happy to report his levels were low when I left the hospital this evening. I hope I get the same news when I see him tonight. He is on an antibiotic IV for now and they expect him to be in the hospital for the next four days. I am nursing him when I am there and pumping at home so he can drink all the milk he wants to when I am gone. It is so hard to be away from my little gummy bear and all I can do is hope for a speedy recovery. He is doing great and will hopefully be off oxygen sometime soon so that will be one less tube system around his tiny body. I am off to say goodnight to him and then I am going to come home and try to get some sleep. I would sleep on the cot next to him, but Andrew and I both agree that I should rest up so we can all be healthy and strong when he gets home. My mom is driving down tomorrow to stay with us for a bit so I can go back and forth to the hospital as I please. Must get going, for a wee one might need a comforting voice.
I'm doing it! So far the day has gone great. We all slept in until 7:30am and then headed downstairs for breakfast together. Reade fell back asleep so Blake and I ate breakfast together and I cleaned up the kitchen. My friend stopped by, which allowed me to throw in a load of laundry and start dinner in my crock-pot. I told Andrew he will be eating out of a crock-pot for the next month or so until I get into a routine.
Tonight we are having Chicken, Bouillabaisse-Style (recipe found here). On the side I think I will serve potatoes au gratin from a box. I only treat myself to those naughty boxes every once and a while since they are so unhealthy. Andrew and I are going to try and eat healthier at least twice a week now. My midwife is a big fan of the Weston Price diet, but like any diet I don't think one way is the absolute best or right way. Giving up corn syrup will be the hardest thing for me. I love myself some gummy bears!
Blake just woke up so onto round two of the day. Enjoy the rain. It is a bummer we are housebound, but maybe that is good for me.
Today was a day to celebrate mothers. It was fun to try and imagine how many mothers there have been since the beginning of time (plants and animals). I can only imagine how many more there will be. So here I sit with my two sons in the now. Driven here by a combination of genetics and hormones, yet ignorant enough to think my situation is unique from anyone else (my kids are the cutest, right?). I love my husband and two magnificent sons:
Especially when I catch them playing guitar in a laundry basket:
Mom centered holidays usually involve some sort of chocolate or sweet treat:
My mother brought me this necklace. It is so sweet:
Andrew goes back to work tomorrow. It has been a great three weeks and it will be interesting to see what kind of daily routine gets established now. Wish me luck.
Is it bad that I am still in my pajamas and it is 4pm on a Saturday? Andrew brewed beer this morning so I had the pleasure of starting a crochet project with a baby in my lap.
Yesterday, my parents, sister, and nana drove down from Sacramento to meet Reade for the first time (my parents had met him already of course). Amy was kind enough to bring me the gnome in the picture above. I think he is divine and can't wait to find a safe spot for him in the garden. I am bummed that we didn't take any pictures of my nana with Reade because they share the same birthday now. Next time I will be more on top of things.
I am also happy to report that I have not had any headaches for the past two days. Hopefully it will stay that way.
Cleaning, cleaning, cleaning. That seems to be the theme around here. Reade had his first bath the other day. He seems to require a wipe down every morning, but today he required two. He is getting quite skilled at soiling his whole diaper changing station in the few seconds his diaper is off. You would think I would learn to move fast enough.
Ah, a relaxing sink bath:
Lots of diapers to clean:
Andrew built us a veggie garden where sun actually shines. I gave him the okay to rip out a daisy plant and two, small jasmines that weren't growing anyway. It will be great to watch a garden grow since mine never have a high success rate:
Does anyone know how to heal severely chapped hands? My skin does not look like it will survive all these hand washes. I use Aquaphor, but that too gets washed off.
I met my first tillandsia (air plant) in a cute boutique in San Jose while shopping with my mother. I instantly fell in love with them and knew I had to have some. The woman wanted $15-30 for her air plants so I immediately put them in my internal "way too much to pay for something I am just going to kill" category. Andrew's mom told me there are places where you can find tillandsias way cheaper, but I had yet to find one until yesterday. I almost jumped for joy when I saw a whole box of tillandsias (some healthy and some very not healthy) at Home Depot for $5/each. I grabbed the best three and soaked them overnight to freshen up their little selves. What will I do with them? Who knows, but it gives me something to think about while I am nursing at 3am.
Also, I gave up on creating a feeding/awake/asleep schedule for Reade. He is two weeks old for goodness sakes. I should not be trying to control anything at this point. I know pediatricians have good intentions, but I think I will let Reade get used to the world before I go sleep Nazi on him. Also, this kid is hungry. If you heard how this kid screams for food you too would be siding with him over the pediatrician. I am going with the flow and I can always change it later.
Here it is. The last installment of my pregnancy photos. Still no makeup or styled hair, but what do you expect from me?
Reade had his two week checkup this afternoon. He now weighs in at 8lbs, 7oz. I like that considering he weighed 7lbs, 8oz. at birth. He weighed 7lbs, 2oz. at his first appointment and they like to see them weighing their birth weight or just above. Reade impressed the doctor with his hefty weight gain. He is still a bit jaundiced, but the doctor told me that could take three months to disappear since breastfed babies' livers process biliruben slower than formula fed babies.
I read my new parent pamphlets and asked the pediatrician about nursing at night. She said to go ahead and help Reade get on a better schedule regarding daytime vs. nighttime feeding. So now I need to help Reade stay up longer during the day, fill him to the brim with milk before bedtime, and hopefully watch as he "magically" starts sleeping better at night. Good advice, but sometimes hard to follow. The biggest change we need to make is helping him to fall asleep on his own. He likes to wail like he is hungry and then when I start to nurse him he just soothes himself until completely limp. When I try to put him in the bassinet his eyes pop wide open and we do that rediculous routine over again. My pediatrician recommended getting Andrew earplugs if I am that concerned about waking him up. I worry about Blake too, but we all know he will adjust better since he is behind two closed doors and a hallway. Baby steps to independence.
My cold is just now starting in so these next few days should be fun. Blake looks like a truck ran over him and Andrew is on the up and up. Please let Reade slip under the radar on this one (my hands held in prayer fashion with my eyes up to the baby Gods).
I have bad news for those of you who have been following my "extreme lemon" saga. The lemon tree on the side of our house produced one lemon and it grew to the size of an eggplant. Even the neighbors and their kids were watching the development of this huge thing. Anyways, it vanished the other day. Andrew came in from taking out the recycling and said, "Um, the lemon is gone and it is nowhere to be found." I ran outside and scoured the ground to see if I could find it. You know who I think stole my precious lemon? The Comcast guys. They were fixing the cable for the neighbors and suddenly my lemon is gone. I know it is rude to accuse people of theft, but it is the only explanation to this mystery. So if you are the Comcast guys and you read this blog, please return our lemon so we can have some closure.
Also, I thought you might like to see the response from my OB. I was sending him daily emails with my blood pressure reading. Yesterday, I stopped sending them to him and decided to log them in case he asked. He beat me to the punch by emailing me this:
hi shannon thanks for this. looking much better. will not have a seizure with these numbers pls send me a last update on wednesday and then you can stop checking if all remains good. pls see me in a few weeks as we had talked about you will be fine hope the nursing and lack of sleep is going well dr r
I guess I came off a bit nervous! Glad I am going to survive.
